If someone pees out of a tree in the forest and nobody hears it, is it still hilarious? Find out, as Larry talks about time spent drinking beer while sitting in a tree. And hear what it means that Larry got dead air from his proctologist. Larry also talks about the classic western comedy “Cat Ballou,” and recites the Robert Frost poemt [sic] “The Sound Of Trees.” Quote of the week: “That’s without dinner and a movie?”

How hard should husbands and boyfriends try on Valentine’s Day? Really hard, you knuckleheads! Larry overcomes his own knuckleheadedness to find a good Valentine present. Hear about the sheiks of oil jewelry store and the history of Valentine’s Day. And Larry talks about the movie “Shakespeare in Love” and recites the poem “Two Valentines” by Eugene Field. Quote of the week: “27 thousand dollars for a thing?”

Larry tries to figure out why he dressed up for his eye doctor appointment. Who is he trying to impress? And we hear why condoms come in packs of 3, 6 and 12. Plus, Larry talks about the movie “An Officer and A Gentleman,” and recites the poem “Courage” by Robert William Service. Quote of the week: “It’s wiser and smarter than I ever gave you credit for.”

Larry shuffles all around the mall in an attempt to find decent presents. Will he have any luck? Also, he explains who Tom Mix is and why is is on the mountain. Then Larry recites the poem “As Long As Your Eyes Are Blue” by Banjo Paterson and talks about the classic WWII movie “The Longest Day.” Quote of the week: Maybe he had it coming.”